Megan is here and I am happy. 

I have been involved with several relationships in my past.  Some lasting just a short time, others lasting years.  I was in one relationship for a grand total of 6 years.  The last relationship I was in was over 4 years ago.  It ended terribly and I wanted nothing to do with women for quite some time.  When I did heal some, and started thinking about relationships again, I decided I never wanted to be in a relationship like that last one.  I never wanted to be hurt like that.  I never wanted to hurt anyone like I hurt her.  So, I set VERY high standards.  Every time I met someone that I remotely became interested in, I would evaluate them.  Were they intelligent?  Do they have a sense of humor and how much do I laugh with them?  Are they reasonably stable emotionally?  Would they communicate with me on the level that I needed them to?  Do they touch my spirit?  Do they understand me?  Do they get who I am?  Did we connect?  Do they have “alternative” worldviews?  Are they eccentric?

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I really believe that so many relationships fail because questions aren’t asked.  People meet, decide if the other is attractive enough or not, get the butterflies; think it’s love, then date.  Women get used and hurt, men get the sex and leave, no one is satisfied, and everyone gets hurt; it happens all the time.

If the woman didn’t click with me, if most those points weren’t satisfied to my liking, then I wasn’t interested.

But…

I’m interested in Megan…

I’ve been VERY critical of women I’ve met.  I’ve sifted through possible relationships, asking these questions, hoping that some day, I just might meet someone that could touch me on a spiritual level.  That can connect with me.  I wondered if it was even possible.

I sifted and I sifted.  I looked and watched.  I hoped and waited.

And at the most unlikely moment, I met Megan.

In all the relationships, I have ever been in.  All the possible relationships I could have had.  I have never ever had such overwhelming feelings for anyone like I have for her. 

I know the relationship is new.  I understand I’m going through the ‘love drunk’ phase.  I realize that my head is still swimming, and I feel a little dizzy.  But I have never, ever felt so, well…right? with anyone, ever.  I swear we are two haves of the same whole.  We met and just knew that this was right.  It’s like we belong.  We think the same way.  We act the same way.  What I thought were unique and original thoughts and ideas are the same thoughts and ideas she has.

We have so much in common it’s freaky.

And, just in the few months we’ve been talking, writing and seeing each other, we have touched on a deep emotional level.

To be VERY esoteric here, forgive me for a moment.  But, I’ve said before, in this journal that sometimes I feel like I’m just a bit out of phase with the rest of the world.  It's hard for me to explain.  But Megan vibrates at the same frequency as I do.  I know, it sounds weird.  But that is the best possible way I can describe what’s going on with us.

Honest to God, she is everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman.  She’s totally unconventional, a little weird, and kind of freaky.  She’s very intelligent, funny as fuck and as cute as a kitten.  She’s so freaking sexy, a single bat of the eye…*Whew*… amazing…

I love her like I’ve never loved anyone else before.  Ever. 

And, most importantly, we communicate.  A lot.  All the time.  She even got upset today about a situation we ran into.  And after emotions calmed, we talked about why she got so upset.  Not only did this make her feel better, but I felt better too.  We had, and worked though our first “complication”.  It was VERY cool.

I am so excited about our future together.